Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
