Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
