I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
