so explain again why im purple
no
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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