If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
