I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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