you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
