btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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