Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I need a beard to bite.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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