my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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