No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
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I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
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i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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