Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
