I wish I only lived at night.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
