If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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