I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
