Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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