we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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