I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
