Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
