I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
