I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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