oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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