tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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