I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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