And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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