I molested 6 butterflies tonight
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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