so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
