I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
