I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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