Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
