Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
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I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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