As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
