It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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