You're my little dorito
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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