Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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