that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm at about main and main street
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
