i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize