guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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