i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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