Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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