At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
