college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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