Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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