Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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