Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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