great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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