she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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