i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize