dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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