i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
