turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
