Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
