If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
