so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize