If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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