hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
