shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
