You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
