On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
