So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
