Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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