My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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