It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
