Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
